A lot of people have been writing in, asking why it’s taken me so long to post. I’m not trying to brag or anything, but people seem to be really upset. Here’s a sample of the emotional outpouring:
“Where are you? I love your blog. I NEED your blog. Please write something. Fast!”
– Reg W.
“The last time you wrote is June 27? Are you trapped under something heavy? What’s the matter with you?”
– Mary T.
“Need some pills? Just send your email address and your bank details and we’ll send you some.”
“I need to borrow $25,000 immediately.”
– Mitt R.
“Do you like girls? Do you like boys? Click here and give us your bank details.”
– Pete Sampras
“Is this where I order kitchen utensils? I need 12 forks. Right away. This is not spam.”
– MC Hammer
“I stumbled onto your site. So much fun. Can you send me your bank details?”
– Woody Allen
As you can see, I’ve got a lot of reason to be flattered. So allow me to explain. I’ve been sick. I don’t want to blame anyone, but it’s my little miracle baby’s fault. He got something, then passed it on to me.
I was being really careful, wiping his nose with my pants, playfully smushing my face against his, seeing how many of his pacifiers I could fit in my nose (six), etc. But I got sick anyway. And it’s been going on for three weeks. Three weeks!
So you can imagine my fury when I briefly skimmed this headline about how non-parents are more likely get the common cold than parents. Where are these so-called scientists getting their research? They clearly didn’t talk to me. My nose has been running all over the place. I’ve been coughing like Doc Holliday… at a… coughing convention. Or something.
Anyway, I took all kinds of decongestants, herbal supplements, pain killers, antibiotics, antidepressants, blood thinners, fat burners, gobstoppers, hormone replacement therapy and something called milk thistle. None of it worked.
Then the illness started going away and I’ve been feeling better, so I’m back to writing again.
But what do you guys think of this new study about parental sickness? Also, have you ever tried hormone replacement therapy?