A Letter to My Australian 2-Year-Old on his Third Anzac Day

Dear Son,

You have been such a little miracle to have around. Your mind and brain are both opening and it’s such a delight to see, as you take in all the wonders of this magical world.

Your mother and I moved to Sydney almost six years ago and the time has just flown by.

We’ve all been on so many adventures together and this country has been very good to us. In honour of our adopted homeland, I wanted to explain to you the meaning of a very special day.

A day called Anzac Day.

Anzac Day commemorates… well… listen, I’m actually writing to you because I can’t find the piece of paper with all my Internet passwords on it.

I’m not accusing you of stealing by any means, but it was in my desk drawer here last night and now it’s not and I know you like to rummage through my desk drawer to take out pens and post-its and throw them in the garbage chute and I’m just the slightest bit worried that you may have done the same thing with my Internet passwords.

Is that what happened? Just tell the truth. I promise I won’t be upset.

Honestly, if that is what happened it’s a lot better than if, for example, you scanned it and put it on the Internet.

That’s not where it belongs, son. Literally anyone can get onto the Internet. Anyone. Monkeys, whoever. Anyone. And I just don’t think it’s a good idea to have that stuff out there for everyone to see.

Okay. Thanks for listening…

My bank information is on there! It’s my whole life! Do you want Daddy to lose all his money?!

Sorry. I promised I wouldn’t get upset. But I need that piece of paper! Gimme it!

Okay, things are getting a little out of hand. I really do think you should know the origins of Anzac Day.

Actually, you know what might have more information on Anzac Day? My piece of paper!! Come on!! Gimme it!!

All right, I’m sweating a little bit. Daddy’s sweating. He’s in a great deal of trouble.

All right…




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[This post was originally published on April 24, 2013]

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