Confession time, you guys. I haven’t always been incredibly fit. I know, it’s hard not to look at me and think, “Holy Jesus, has this guy always been so fit and handsome?”
Well, it’s true. I once weighed 321 kgs. Wait, I don’t think I’m doing that conversion right.
No, at my heaviest, I think I weighed somewhere around 120 kgs, which is still a lot for someone who’s 5’10”.
And over the course of several years, I lost around 35 kgs. That’s right. I’ve also pinpointed the reasons I overeat and even designed a guaranteed-to-work daddy diet based on all the things I’ve learned about weight loss.
So you’ll excuse me if I think I know a little bit about weight loss.
And when I saw this thing on the internet quoting some researcher as saying there are lots of myths about weight loss, I thought, “Tell me something I don’t know, egghead.”
But rather than actually read the story, I decided to do this so-called scientist’s job for him and give you the top 17 weight loss myths currently in circulation. Why? Because Daddy’s Little Miracle isn’t just the best parenting site in the world. It’s also a premiere destination for all your chubby daddy lifestyle-y type needs.
1. Holding your breath on the scale takes off 15-20 pounds
2. Falling asleep while you eat is a sign of a speedy metabolism
3. People who talk constantly about their weight loss goals are always invited to do things
4. Muscle weighs less than fat
5. Fudge weighs less than fat
6. A Blu-ray copy of Phat Beach weighs less than fat
7. Yo-yo diets involve eating a lot of yo-yo’s
8. Shouting “snack time!” in the middle of a business meeting is good for weight loss motivation
9. You will “stop looking fat” if you live on the moon
10. Superman takes aggressively experimental prescription weight loss drugs
11. Trans fat is worse than Trans Am fat
12. Carbohydrates are “mean”
13. Your biggest meal of the day should be eaten in the shower
14. Clapping counts as exercise
15. Shame counts as exercise
16. Salad dressing can be a meal replacement
17. The difference between being fat and fit is one letter – and a lot of injected synthetic hormones!
What do you guys think? Am I missing any?