You guys, one of the great things about being a parent is reading to your child. I just love reading children’s books with my little miracle baby. Some of our favorites are, in no particular order:
Good Morning Moon
Good Afternoon Swamp Pig
But our favourite thing to read is The New York Times. It’s the best way to stay informed and my son loves it. He hums along to the headlines, laughs at the funny way they… um… well, it’s not clear what he’s laughing at, I guess.
But once in a while, the paper will run a story that’s terrifying and it gets my baby all shaken up. So I decided to turn that fear into a regular feature here on Daddy’s Little Miracle.
I’m calling it The New York Times Scares My Little Miracle Baby.
This week on TNYTSMLMB, we encountered some shocking, bear-related news…
ME: “Polar bears, long thought to have branched off relatively recently from brown bears, developing their white coats, webbed paws and other adaptions over the last 150,000 years or so to cope with life on Arctic Sea ice, are not descended from brown bears, scientists report.”
MY LITTLE MIRACLE BABY: Can you repeat that in English, professor?
ME: Polar bears aren’t descended from brown bears, apparently.
ME: Are you all right?
MLMB: What. The. F —
ME: Hey, hey, take it easy.
MLMB: Take it easy? Do you know what this means?! How long have you known about this?!
ME: I just found out when you did.
MLMB: How could we have screwed this up?! I mean, it was staring at us in the face all along, wasn’t it? One is white. One is f*@&$#ing brown!
ME: It’s going to be okay, son.
MLMB: Oh, dear Jesus, this can NOT be happening. No! No! No! Mine! Mine! Aaaaaaaagh!!!!!!