Look, I’m an amazing daddy. You guys know it. I know it. We all know it.
But is it as easy as it looks?
Well, yes. For me it is.
But it isn’t for a lot of other people. That’s why I always recommend coming up with a list of parenting resolutions right before New Year’s Eve. Similar to the ground breaking parenting affirmations series I started, they’re a great way to keep you on track with your parenting goals. Sure, you could come up with a general list of new year’s resolutions like I did last year, but those never work out for you. Never.
So what should this list look like?
Well, just to give you an idea, here are my New Year Parenting Resolutions for 2014:
1. Make fewer empty promises
I will stop promising to set up that unbelievably complicated Leapfrog learning thing. I’m never getting to it and it’s only causing everyone pain.
The cruel irony of these things is that instead of making my child feel smarter, they make me feel dumber. I can’t even switch out the batteries on that one Scout thing, whatever that is and I’ve had it.
2. Have more patience
I will not lose my cool and snap at my three-year-old son so much. Just because he doesn’t understand the sadness of McCabe and Mrs. Miller now, that doesn’t mean he never will.
3. Stop wasteful habits
Confession: I never wear the same socks twice. I wear them once and then toss them off the balcony. And this is the year I’m going to stop. For my son.
4. Stop sniffing glue
I’m just kidding about this one – wanted to make sure you’re still with me.
5. Stop sniffing permanent markers
What do they put in these things?! They smell like courage!
6. Spend less money
The socks thing should help with this one, but also, how many porcelain Disney figurines does one daddy need? Five, at the most.
7. Yell less
Instead of yelling at my son when he does something wrong, I am going to yell at and threaten his bunny. Let’s see how he likes that.
8. Listen more
I have to stop pretending to be deaf all the time. It’s not working with my son. The questions keep coming.
9. Date nights… for one
I need to get out of here more, you guys. Start treating myself right! #yolo
10. Enjoy life!
It’s going to be hard without new socks and permanent markers, but I have to find a way.
11. Write more dirty love notes to my lady friend
My love notes are too PG. It’s time to spice things up. Make ‘em filthy. You know what I’m talking about.
12. Develop a thicker skin
I have to stop letting it get to me when my son screams “Boom! Boom! Boom!” or makes that truck backing up sound when I enter the room. He’s still very young and doesn’t understand cruelty. I think.
13. Be more healthy
I need to cook more dinners that don’t call for huge amounts of sausage. And I will encourage my son to do more exercise – pull-ups, squats, some core work, strengthen his rotator cuff, work the tri’s not the bi’s, etc.
14. Special mention…
As a parent, I also think it’s extremely important to always be as good-looking as possible. But that’s really an every year thing.
Now after you’ve come up with your own list and you start checking in with yourself regularly, here some questions to ask yourself:
- Did I go up or down?
- Do I still feel like a horrible parent?
- Why did I put that one on there? I don’t even own a motorcycle.
- Should I go back to clown college?
- Why can’t I be as happy as this woman:
Good luck in 2014, you guys!