My Son Filled Out an Internet Dating Profile?!

One of the 7,000 things I worry about as a parent is technology. When will it be okay for my son to have his own phone? When should he be allowed to have his own computer? His own Facebook account?

If it were up to me, he’d never have access to the Internet until he was 35 and hopefully well past any insecurities or vulnerabilities.

But that’s just not realistic.

I’m on the computer a lot and I can’t turn it off every time I walk away from it. And I’m not a fan of creating different logins for everyone in the family and making sure all my stuff is password protected. It’s just too much of a hassle.

But I may have learned an important lesson because the other day, I discovered that my three-year-old son had gotten onto the Internet, signed up for one of those dating sites and filled out a form.

Of course, I immediately deleted his profile, but I managed to save some of the stuff he put in there and transcribed it here.

Fair warning: It’s very troubling…

ABOUT ME:

Super laid back and down to earth. Literally. I’m very short. Deal with it.

I’m mature for my age.

I’ve never tried online dating before.

I WON’T pay for it, yamean?

Lovin’ life in the big smoke!

THINGS I LIKE:

The Wiggles

Bob the Builder

Air guitar

Smoking trees

FAVOURITE EXPRESSIONS:

There’s no “I” in TEAM.

Snitches get stitches.

THINGS I COULD DO WITHOUT:

Time Out

Eating food that’s not mac’n’cheese.

Using the potty.

Kangaroo or koala jokes.

That m&#&37@#&#er around the corner who keeps eyeballing me when I dump garbage on his lawn.

Mean people

I’M ATTRACTED TO:

Huge necks.

One ear bigger than the other. (Not negotiable.)

YOU’RE ATTRACTED TO:

This guy with my two thumbs.

PROFILE PHOTO:

You guys, I can not imagine how he put all this together. He’s only three! Also, it’s worth keeping in mind that it might be illegal to make stuff up on a dating profile.

That said, I’m glad he’s enjoying life in the big smoke.

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