One of the best things about spending Christmas with my little miracle baby was watching the boy’s face light up as he grabbed a present, attempted to unwrap it, realised he couldn’t do it himself and began to take his frustration out on the Christmas tree, shaking and choking it while everyone screams “No! No!”
This year, my lady friend and I bought him a baby digital camera. It’s huge and has lots of rubber all around it so it won’t break when he inevitably throws it off the balcony.
After we helped him unwrap it, he didn’t even realise what was in his hands.
“It’s a car!” he squealed.
I explained to him that it was a camera and he could take pictures like mommy and daddy.
“Oh, a camera,” he said.
It only took me about three hours and several mini-meltdowns to get the thing working. I showed the boy how to use it and he hasn’t stopped having an unbelievable amount of fun since. He takes pictures of everything: the carpet, the wall, his shoes. It’s delightful.
Now, I don’t know a lot about photography. My favourite pictures are of morbidly obese cats with ironic moustaches. But as far as I can tell, the boy’s already pretty good at taking pictures and I wanted to share a few with you guys.
MY LITTLE MIRACLE BABY: This is my computer mouse. I’d like to thank the good people at Dell for making such a high quality product.
MLMB: This is a bag that I sometimes carry around. Some people call it a purse and say it’s for ladies. But it’s very comfortable and it holds all my pencils and toys and little pieces of garbage I collect. So those people can f@#&@ off.
MLMB: This is a real ghost I saw. I don’t give a s*&@# if you don’t believe in ghosts. It happened.
MLMB: This is some red.
MLMB: This is the view from my apartment. Jealous much?
MLMB: This is a picture of one monkey yanking the nuts off another monkey. Or maybe he’s just cleaning the other monkey’s b-hole. Either way, I love my new camera!