My Little Miracle Baby Has a Complicated Relationship with His Stuffed Toy Animals

One of the most rewarding things about being a parent is giving entirely of yourself to your child. And I’m a great parent, so I always put my little miracle baby first.

But sometimes, Daddy’s got things to do and he can’t just drop everything whenever that guy wants to do something.

The other day, he became obsessed with putting a diaper (he calls it a “nappy” because he’s Australian and speaks a different language) on his teddy bear. Before that day, I don’t think he looked at that thing twice, but for some reason, he needed to get that diaper on there and he wasn’t going to give up.

The only problem is that he’s 2 ½ and can’t do anything by himself and gets easily frustrated.

MY LITTLE MIRACLE BABY: (singing to himself) And we put the nappy on the teddy bear… and we put the nappy on the… (struggling) nappy… teddy… come on! Nappy on you, now!

ME: What are you doing over there?

MLMB: I want the nappy on this teddy bear.

ME: Well, keep it down.

MLMB: Can you do it, please?

ME: I’m in the middle of something over here, buddy. Sorry.

MLMB: Please, daddy. Put the nappy on the teddy.

ME: Nappies don’t go on teddies. They go on babies.

MLMB: The fact of the matter is that I can’t play with the teddy unless he has the nappy on.

ME: Why not?

MLMB: I just can’t.

ME: Why?

MLMB: I can’t!

ME: Why?!

MLMB: I…

ME: Why?!

MLMB: That teddy took a massive sh#&@!! It sh#*#@! All over! Oh, god, it was horrible…

I stared at him as he held his face in his hands, weeping.

MLMB: He did it, Daddy. He did it. And you know what the worst part is?

ME: (nervous) What?

MLMB: I… I think I saw some of it come out of his blue furry buttho —

ME: All right, that’s enough.

I put the diaper on the teddy bear but I had to laugh. You see, sometimes putting diapers on teddy bears is what great parenting’s all about.

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