Monday Affirmations: The Growling Potty

Happy Monday, you guys. TGIM, am I right?

I had a great weekend. My lady friend and I are currently attempting to potty train our little miracle and it is no picnic, let me tell you. He basically holds it all in to avoid using the amazing mini plastic toilet we got him.

I have no idea why.

The seat is painted to look like a big clown mouth! Adorable, right? And there’s this cute little sensor that detects when someone walks by – it starts vibrating, making a fun growling sound and saying in a deep, raspy voice, “Sit. On. My. Face!” Then it laughs and laughs.

Who wouldn’t want to relax on this delightful thing?

Anyway, it’s become so difficult we’re thinking about giving it up all together and letting him sort it out on his own. When’s the latest that could happen? Ten, eleven-years-old? That doesn’t sound too bad.

If all of this makes it seem like I’m bragging about the parenting hero that I am, you should know that I wasn’t completely perfect over the weekend. I did make some mistakes.

But that’s why we have parenting affirmations! Let’s all say them together…

  • I control my emotions, even my anger. Whether I’m at the slots or the ponies, it’s no one else’s fault that I threatened to “slap the beard” off an elderly socialite.
  • I trust my child and my child trusts me. That’s why it’s important I not take the money from his piggy bank to buy muffins. I can buy my own muffins.
  • It doesn’t matter that I haven’t been to the gym all weekend. I’m still strong and confident. I’m just a little chubby, that’s all. And there are plenty of chubby people out there making a difference. A chubby difference. A chubberence.

Have a great week!

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