I knew things were gonna change as soon as my missus told me I had to get a new wallet: The chain that connected my billfold to my belt loop (and connected my individuality to my attitude) posed a safety risk to our new baby.
“Whoa – hang on a sec!,” I thought to myself out loud. Only desk-jockeys and people not worried about getting pickpocketed use a wallet without a chain. Little did I know I was about to go from motorbikes to motorbuggies. I went from taking peyote to taking my daughter for a pey-poopy (when we were doing potty training). I mean – I used to hang out backstage at the club, and now I’m hanging backstage at the crib!
In 1997, I killed a man.
Things got out of hand in a bar fight and I cut a guy’s throat with a Bud Light can. I’ve never seen that much blood before – I didn’t even think there was that much blood in a human body! I guess my adrenaline was out of control and I just RIPPED a beer can in half with my bare hands.
I’ve heard it said that some mothers suddenly tap into this insane well of sudden strength when their children are in danger – like, they can lift a car up to free a trapped child. Well this was like that, except I didn’t have a child yet, and I ended up serving 11 years in the Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility just south of San Diego. And now here I am, changing diapers! So much for my rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle….
I guess if I’ve learned anything, it’s that just because I am a new daddy, it doesn’t mean I have to give up the things that made me an individual – I just have to pick and choose how I express myself. So I’ve decided to give up the chain wallet. But nobody said I can’t re-pierce my ear![DISCLAIMER: Thank you for reading the latest entry in our Controversial Daddy Debate series, where dads tackle contentious subjects. For the sake of clarity, it must be stated that the views and opinions of any Daddy Debaters do not reflect the views and opinions of Daddy’s Little Miracle. We publish these sometimes extreme stories in order to spark serious conversation, not as an endorsement of any particular perspective. When commenting, please try to be respectful and remember that being a dad is the hardest and best and most challenging and most rewarding and best thing you can be. – Ed.]
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