Discussing the Finer Points of the New "Weight Loss Formula" with My Little Miracle Baby

You guys, when it comes to weight loss, I need the quick fix.  And I need specific instructions on how to implement that quick fix.  Show me the numbers, that’s my motto.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I found out there was a scientific formula to losing weight.  I was nervous about sharing the news with my little miracle baby, because he has a way of raining on my parade.  But he seemed genuinely happy for me.  At first.

ME:  Our problems are over, son!  I’ve found a weight loss formula!

MY LITTLE MIRACLE BABY:  That’s great.  But in what way is weight loss our problem?

ME:  It doesn’t matter.  Don’t you see?  There’s a formula.

MLMB:  I’ve got a formula for you.  Stop Eating Burritos At 2 AM + Some &#@$-ing Sit-ups = You Can Fit Into Human Pants.

ME:  Sorry, what kind of pants do you think I’m wearing?

MLMB:  Those things have clearly been constructed for hippo use.  Hippos with self esteem and/ or glandular issues.

ME:  Well, I’ve got a formula for you.  Bed Time + Dirty Diapers… um…

MLMB:  Please, don’t exert yourself.  You might rip your hippo pants.

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