Baby Art Analysis: “One Tree Dies”

“One Tree Dies”

Six green columns, all upright save for one bent to the right. Is it falling? Is it on the way up? Why does it part ways with the others? What makes it different?

I sat down with the artist, my little miracle baby, to discuss his inspiration for the piece.

ME: Why green?


ME: Mm.

MLMB: Analysts place far too much emphasis on colour choice. Colour is arbitrary. Like death. Like love. Like trees.

ME: In what ways are trees arbitrary?

MLMB: Well, they’re just scattered around, aren’t they. Just kind of spread about. Is there a plan? Does it matter when one dies? It’s all arbitrary.

ME: That’s a pretty bleak vision of nature.

MLMB: Have you met nature? She is a bleak b&#@.

ME: All right, that kind of language isn’t necessary.

MLMB: It’s absolutely necessary. You bourgeois pigs have been wallowing in your own filth, eating at the trough of the working man for long enough. It’s time to shake things up around here! It’s time for change!

ME: When exactly are you planning this change?

MLMB: Well, I have my afternoon nap…

ME: Right.

MLMB: And then it’s going to be time for my milky…

ME: I see.

MLMB: And then I’ll be getting my Wiggles on, followed immediately by some dedicated rummaging through that pile of toys in the corner…

ME: Okay.

MLMB: So the answer is that I don’t know. Okay? Are you happy? You win. You’ve outwitted a small child! Are we done here?

ME: I believe we are. Thank you.

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