761 Last Minute Father’s Day Gift Ideas

cologne

Father’s Day USA is just days away, everyone!

How do I know? Well, just because I live in Australia doesn’t mean I’m not a patriot. “Love it and leave it and keep lovin’ it.” That’s my motto.

I also know that Father’s Day is fast approaching in America because every online publication you can think of has been churning out gift guides for the last month. They’re promising 5 gift ideas, 11 gift ideas and even a whopping 36 gift ideas.

Listen, I get it. I’ve done a gift guide before. I’ve also recounted the humiliation I endured last US Father’s Day and again on Australian Father’s Day.

But all of this seems quaint and weak and like, well, total garbage compared to what I’ve put together for this US Father’s Day. I mean, this is a last minute gift guide to end all last minute gift guides. I wrote it, read it aloud back to myself, and wept. I wept!

What makes this guide better than any that has ever come before it? It’s long! Preposterously so!

Seriously, 761 gift ideas. What other daddy / lifetsyle / entertainment / travel / self-help site would have the courage and/or temerity to put together a list of 761 gift ideas?

That is a high number, you guys! It’s not 1,000, sure, but it’s up there. It’s bigger than 600, of that you can be certain. All right, it’s a little bit lower than 800. Could I have gotten it up to 800? Maybe. But who would believe I had 800 ideas. It seems too perfect! No, 761. That’s the right and best number for a gift guide.

Now, if you’re in the US, you’ve only got a couple days to rush out and buy these things, so I suggest you read with urgency and purpose. Don’t just stop at the first picture and stare at it for 3 hours. (Even if you’re not pressed for time, that’s probably not a good idea.) And above all else, don’t forget to enjoy yourself.

The 761 best last minute Father’s Day gifts that your father can’t – and shouldn’t – live without…

 

1. Theatre tickets

legally blonde

2. A special Father’s Day message written in the sky

jesus

3. A button that makes it look like some nasty stuff went down in New Zealand

new zealand button

4. Fart Machine 2. Not 1! 2.

fart machine

5. A sign for the bathroom door

alcohol sign

6. A Tasmanian devil

tasmanian devil

7. What’s this a toilet sticker?

toilet sticker

8. 700 mugs

mug

709. Rod Carew?! What are YOU doing here?

rod carew

710. 46 camels

camels

757. A portrait for the shower

portrait

758. Robocup!

robocup

759. A pre-owned copy of Bridget Jones’ dagbog

bridget jones

760. A sign for the front door

usa

761. A couple of ‘phants goin’ at it


elephants


[Header photo courtesy of FreeImages]

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.